Hmmm… I think I wanna add to my earlier posting on couples being aligned.
Being aligned, imho, is fundamental to the relationship working.
If both parties have different vision as to the marriage, then I don't think it will work unless they come together and somehow, find a resolution that fits both. I've seen couples break up and then get back together again (some more than once.. wala) but if nothing shifts, its a doomed relationship.
For example, lets say, at courting stage, the guy has the vision of wanting to have his own kid. But the girl doesn't want to have any kids. Guess where is the relationship headed?
The funny thing is the triggering point may not be kids but could be something else. But, u know what most of us go thru… the stage where we feel empty la, depression la, bla bla bla. And one party decides want to get back together again. And if the other party also thinks the same… well, they may actually come together again. BUT… if nothing has shifted i.e. one still is firm that he wants kids, the other still steadfastly don't want kids. Then it remains a doomed relationship.
They can come back a million times and they will still break up. Of course, this is not to say that one party cannot re-examine his/her vision and come to the conclusion that "hmmm… maybe kids not so important" or "hmmm… maybe I can have kids". If they are able to resolute than yes the relationship can work.
But if there's no resolution to realign to a common vision, then… sorry dude. Worse.. if they press the panic button thinking that it is a "commitment" thing. It will probably just head down the divorce path faster than you can blink. Of course, asians may not go down this path due to culture and taboo (I'm not so sure this still holds as it is the 21st century now), it doesn't mean it would be a happy union.
Again… just my 2 cents thinking out loud.
PS: I'm happy that I share a common vision with my wife as we seek to grow together.
No comments:
Post a Comment