Monday, April 30, 2012

Do we give fish or the fishing rod? (updated)

We know many people who say they want to change their lives but they have obstacles that prevent them from doing so. The obstacles they have can be no money, no time, no education etc..


But are these really it? While some people may be really bogged down by genuine problems, I do believe that all they need to find is a reason big enough to motivate them, whether by pain or pleasure, to take the necessary actions to make changes in their lives, and they will then do it. Most people on the other hand give up on the slightest difficulty or keep looking for shortcuts.


I'm going to speak from my own personal experience here. I have at one time many years ago tried to help some one change his life. He was a high flying luxury car salesman prior to the 1997 crash. After the crash he lost his expensive BMW, house and fell on hard times. I met him a couple of years later and took it upon myself to help this person change his life. But time and again he kept giving excuses as to why he can't do this or that. The pinnacle came when I "joint-ventured" with him to start a car trading business since that was his forte. It went well for a while. However, when repossessors came for his personal car that he so cleverly hid from them (he actually managed to hide it quite well considering the time it took for them to find this car compared with 3 of his previous ones), he took the money that was meant for the business to pay the repossessors. That merely delayed repossession for a couple of months. I found out within that period and he came clean with me only after I confronted him. Well enough is enough. I decided that I couldn't help this guy anymore after 3 years with him. I walked away. The very next day the repossessors came again and he called asking for money. I told him "no" and that he has to learn to solve his problems instead of looking for handouts. I told him that the money I put into our JV business (he didn't have to put up any money) was actually eventually for him once the business gets established on a firm foot. He said thank you but still asked for money to solve his problem. I said this time it's final. No means no. He turned ugly and scolded me over the phone. I never heard from him ever since until a few years later when his wife called and said he has passed away from a heart attack. Now in refection, it really made me wonder. Sometimes there are some of us who out of compassion and goodwill attempt to help others but do they really want our help? Or do they just want handouts from us?


I know I am not the only one who have gone through this. I know of a very benevolent lady who is already successful. Both she and her husband are self made multi-millionaires and they got their datukship for bringing Malaysia's name to the world in the F&B industry, earning one Michelin Star. Anyway, now that she is already successful she also wants to help others, sometimes with fish, sometimes with fishing rods. I do not know her criteria for handing either one out but I suppose she may look at a person's character and maybe even age as a criteria. I am not saying she's right. Like I said, I do not know the criteria. You can call her an angel (or "white knight" if you prefer). Although I do not know her well enough nor long enough, from what I have seen, she clearly wants to help her husband's siblings and their children change for the better. However from what I have observed, some of them don't really want to change. What they really want are handouts. Well.. perhaps she gave fish once too often and so they kept expecting fish all the time. There was an instance when she asked her nephew to help out at her newly opened cafe with the intention of eventually teaching him the "tricks of the trade" and perhaps even passing the biz to him. However the young chap, after only 2 weeks decided that he wasn't learning anything apart from sweeping floors and other menial work and so he resigned. When I heard this, even I became disappointed. In my view, he was being tested and taught from the most basic up. But being shortsighted he cannot understand this. He has missed a great opportunity. We all saw the original karate kid in the 1980s right? The character Daniel-san (played by Ralph Macchio) was told that he would be taught karate but on his first day at the sensei's house he was told to paint the fence and to paint only in a certain way... much to his disappointment.


In my opinion perhaps this is where personal development comes in. If a person's context is small i.e. cup so small, it's just not possible for that person to recognize an opportunity when it comes. If Pat Morita's character did not physically show Ralph Macchio's Daniel-san why he is being instructed to paint the fence in an up and down hand movement manner, Daniel-san would have missed the opportunity to learn from a great master and realize his dreams. But how many teachers in real life are like the sensei who would be willing to show or let alone tell the potential student why he is being asked to do things in a certain way?


Some people argue or have the opinion that we should sometimes give the fish especially in times of real need. But really... it that so? What would be the cut-off point then? You give fish once, they will ask for fish again the next time. They will not learn. They will still wait to the last minute to do things, sometimes at their own peril. And then... again, ask for fish. So really... Do we give fish or the fishing rod? When do we give the fish? When do we give the fishing rod?


I really don't know. But... I have decided that I will NEVER give fish. I will only give the fishing rod, with a bit of "instruction manual" perhaps but most certainly no spoon feeding. When we give fish once too often, it would almost always lead to abuse. Malaysia as a country is a typical example where giving fish big time leads to massive abuse and incompetence, its clear that it just doesn't work at all.


Related post:
Is it true that people who are poor have chosen to be poor

Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Bhagvad Gita - Chapter 14 - Material Nature



This article is taken from Guru30's blog. You can access the full write up here. It's good read to understand a little about hinduism. The Bhagvad Gita – Chapter 14 – Material Nature:

---Start of Article ---

Lord SriKrishna says this further to Arjuna: I shall now explain the supreme wisdom through which all sages attained perfection. The Brahman is the source of birth.  All species arise from material nature of whom I’m, the seed giving father. The three modes of material nature viz. sativa, rajas and tamas, condition the living entity when he/she comes in contact with nature.

Of these, sattva, the mode of goodness is pure and enlightening and without sorrow. Rajas, the mode of passion leads to unlimited yearnings and attachments, hence one gets attached to material actions.  Tamas is the mode of ignorance that deludes all people. It results in madness and laziness. In short, the mode of goodness binds one to happiness, the mode of passion to fruitive action and the mode of ignorance to madness.

There is always a fight among the modes for supremacy. Sometimes sattva predominates and sometimes it’s rajas or tamas. When one dies under the mode of Sattva, he achieves the world of great sages. When one dies in rajas, he is born among those engaged in fruitive activity. When somebody dies in the mode of tamas, he is born into a mode of delusion.

From sattva understanding is born, from rajas, materialism and from tamas, foolishness. Those established in sattva, ascend to higher planets. Those in rajas, remain on earth and those in tamas descend to hellish planets. When an embodied being transcends these three modes of material existence, he/she is freed from birth, death, old age and illness and is able to enjoy life.

Arjuna asks the Lord as to how we can identify somebody who has transcended the modes of nature, and 
Lord SriKrishna replies that the person who does not hate illumination, attachment and one who is undisturbed by the modes of nature, who remains unwavering and the one to whom a lump of earth, stone and gold are the same, who regards the desirable and the undesirable equally, who is steadfast and not bothered by blame or praise, to whom honor and dishonor mean the same, treats friends and enemies alike, and one who has renounced all material undertakings, such a person has transcended the three modes of nature and achieves me.

Have no doubt about this.

To your transcendence …

Guru30

Transformation vs. Information

Transformation vs. Information: Rich Dad and Rich Woman are not just about financial education and the journey to financial freedom. We help people transform their lives for the long run. And this takes information, action and overcoming fear. Read Kim’s inspiring words to help you start making positive change happen in your life.


The following is an article from Rich Dad Poor Dad Blog:


What you really need to succeed in life

Two weeks ago Robert, I and several Rich Dad Advisors were invited to speak on a seminar cruise. The ship sailed to Belize, Mexico and Honduras. The seven-day cruise was organized by The Real Estate Guys who have an educational, weekly radio show on the subject of, you guessed it, real estate.
What’s great about teaching is that I always learn something, usually unexpected, about either the subject of my talk or in the presentation of it. In this case I learned on both fronts. The greatest take away for me, however, was defining what Rich Woman and Rich Dad do and what business we are in.
It’s not just financial education.
When someone asks me, “What’s your business?” I typically reply, “We have a financial educationcompany.” Yet I know inside that “financial education” really does not fully define what we do. When I say, “We’re in financial education.” most people immediately think of financial or retirement planning, which is far removed from who we are.
Read the rest here: Transformation vs. Information

From The Secret - we are not our thoughts

Negative thoughts are not who you are. Your true nature is all good. So if by chance a negative thought comes, say to yourself, "These thoughts are not mine, and they do not belong with me. I am all good and I have only good thoughts for myself and everyone."
Now you are speaking the truth!

From The Secret - how to help someone

When you focus with someone on a problem they are having, you are not helping them or you, because you are both adding energy to the problem. You are also both attracting more "like" problems to you.
Knowing this, it's very important for you and the other person to focus on what you both want. The person with the problem should be encouraged to speak about what they want instead of about the problem, which is what they don't want. The problem arose in the first place from the person thinking or talking about what they didn't want, so the chain reaction must stop. Help those close to you by encouraging them to speak the words of what they want. That is always the solution.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

BERSIH 3.0 - Amazing!!! I LOVE IT!! (updated)


428 marks a amazingly beautiful day for Malaysians. We see a sea of yellow in KL like the pic above. Well.. Not really. I was really happy when I saw that pic. Unfortunately it was revealed later that that picture was doctored, but nevertheless it's still just soooo beautiful. I love it and so I am keeping it as a "vision board" thingy.

The STAR (an MCA mouthpiece) reported that unruly demonstrators overturned a police car. What they purposely did not report is that that same police car seriously injured 2 peaceful protestors by purposefully knocking into them. Oh... puhleeezzz. Don't they ever learn. If they have just allowed people to go sit at Dataran Merdeka for 2 hours, the Bersih people would then just go home after that. Today would have passed without an incident. But oh no they are sooo afraid of bersih that they just can't let it happen.

On the run up to this day, the powers that be first say that they allow it as it wasn't a security threat only to be followed by the mayor of KL City disallowing it at the intended historical venue of Dataran Merdeka (Independence Square). Then followed by the same minister saying that the police would act as this is now a security issue. I'm not an expert on Law but I think what they intended to do since their embarrasment from Bersih 2.0 was to pretend that it was ok to have the rally but then get the mayor to use some stupid by-law to prevent it and then when the organizers insist on the venue, the mayor can claim security is threatened and thus get the police involved. Something like a roundabout long way to do the same thing which was get the police involved. Well... lol. It's funny how the corrupted ruling coalition thinks that they can create "shiok sendiri" situations to validate their actions.

And we are also being backed world wide at over 70 locations in over 25 countries by overseas Malaysians is testimony to how badly Malaysians want change. And as usual... the coward PM runs away far far away to "avoid the crowd".

The pictures clearly shows that we want real change not lip-service. The PM's so called reforms thus far are mere lip-service. Working in a GLC I know for a fact that much has not changed. Just a Sandiwara (theatrics, for show only). Sigh... they just never learn. Honestly do they really think they can fool people (well... maybe some). Gaddafi has learnt the hard way. Assad will eventually fall. Does UMNO want to go that direction? While I seriously doubt that it would take violence to bring them down, I have, without a shadow of a doubt that their time is up. It's just a matter of time that they be brought down. The new energies coming in to Earth as humanity moves towards the new golden age has NO ROOM for their kind. Theirs is like dis-eased energy and it is being systematically cleansed off this planet.

Humanity will prevail. We will rise above the crap that is being shafted down our throats all these decades (maybe even centuries).

I was moved quite near to tears when I saw pictures like this (there are more but you can search it online yourselves... not difficult to find really). There is hope for Malaysians. There is God. We are indeed blessed with Divine Light, Divine Love, Divine Power, Divine Will, Divine Protection etc etc.

A beautiful day indeed. And I love it that overseas it was all so peaceful. Hong Kong Police even guided the Bersih participants. In Japan and Taiwan, heck even in the Middle East (I think) no police were present. If the authorities in Malaysia had just allowed the event to take place the rallyers would have just sat there for 2 hours and then gone home. The day would have passed without any incident. But alas we know what happened. Sigh. And now in the aftermath, the GoM thru the MSM are attempting to skew public opinion against the organizers. WTF. I am most certainly looking forward to GE13. My kids deserve a clean govt not the rubbish they have in there now. I pay my taxes every year, I demand a clean and efficient govt and not the lip-service that we've been getting since jibkor took the reigns. 


Read Ambiga's statement in MalaysianInsider


Friday, April 27, 2012

From The Secret - "cause and effect"

You can turn your life into paradise, but the only way you can do it is to make the inside of you a paradise. There is no other way.
You are the cause; your life is the effect.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

From The Secret - we all get what we ask for

The law of attraction is infallible, and every single person is getting what they are asking for, even though most of the time each person is not aware that they are asking for what they don't want. There is such absolute beauty in the law, which is so responsive and giving in every single moment so that we can experience our lives.
The law never changes - we must learn how to live in harmony with the law. That is the greatest task for every single human being.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Bhagvad Gita - Chapter 13 - Mother Nature and the Soul


This article is taken from Guru30's blog. You can access the full write up here. It's good read to understand a little about hinduism. The BhagavGita - Chapter 13 - Mother Nature and The Soul

---start of article---
Arjuna asked Lord Srikrisna ‘ O Krishna, please tell me what is Prakriti and Purusha, the field of activity and the knower of the fields, knowledge and that which is to be known’. And Lord Srikrishna replied thus: The body, O Arjuna, is the field of activity. One who knows this field is called the knower of the field. Understanding the field and its knower is actual knowledge. I’m the knower of the field.

The great elements, egoism, intellect, the ten senses and the mind, the five sense objects – desire, hatred, happiness, sorrow, the consciousness and conviction in-brief are called the field. Humility, non-violence, patience, simplicity, cleanliness, service to the guru, unswerving devotion to me, detachment, keeping things in perspective is called knowledge. Contrary to this, everything else is ignorance.

I shall explain to you that by which you can drink the nectar of immortality. Brahman which is ruled by me, is beyond cause and effect. Everywhere is his hands, legs, eyes, faces and ears. He is all pervasive. He is the source of all senses all though he is free from the senses. He is unattached and inside and outside all beings. He is moving and stationary. He is far, yet he is near. He is the creator and destroyer of all.

He is knowledge, the object of knowledge and the goal of knowledge. He is situated in everyone’s heart.  The devotee who understands this will undoubtedly attain me.  Prakriti (material nature) and Purusha (living entities) are without beginning. Prakriti is responsible for cause and effect, while Purusha is the enjoyer of this. The Purusha experiences qualities born of material nature. Associating with these qualities leads one to good and evil.

The Purusha is the Supersoul. One who understands material nature (Prakriti), the living entity (Purusha) and the interaction of the modes of nature will be liberated from birth and death. Some perceive the Self by meditation, some through knowledge and some  through action. They all transcend death. One who sees the Supersoul everywhere is liberated. One who sees that actions are carried out by mother nature and not the soul, truly sees.  Like the sky that does not mix with anything, the soul does not mix with the body, though situated in it. The living entity (Purusha) illuminates the consciousness.  They who understand this will attain the Supreme goal.

Love and Peace

Guru30.

From The Secret - see the good in all

Write down all the great things about everyone you know. Make a huge list of all the wonderful things about you. Compliment people wherever you go. Praise every single thing you see. Be a ray of sunshine to everyone you meet, and make their day better for having seen you. Say "Thank you" at every turn. Walk, talk, think, and breathe appreciation and gratitude.
When you do this, your outer life will change to reflect your inner state of being.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Difference between Love and Sex

Love is the most difficult aspect to describe in the universe. Everyone has their own interpretation of love. It is, as some may say, the ultimate paradox of our universe. Some mix sex with love i.e. you make love. But really is that so? sex equals love? love equals sex? So if you love you mother, you have sex with her? duh...

God is all loving i.e. unconditional love (or compassion as some would put it). Thats not sex :-)

Well, perhaps we shall start with sex. Sex is a physical act. It is a bodily need and is a selfish need by nature. Well some may say that "hey look, I make sure my partner enjoys it as much as I do". Well, yeah... that's nice and very considerate of you but is that really love? Or is it just for the ego trip that you get i.e. the feeling that you are a great lover for bringing your partner to orgasm with you. Or better still... multiple orgasms. If that is so... then at the bottom of your mind, it is still your own selfish satisfaction. Well at least its still better than some people who are so into their own selfish need that they would only consider their own sexual gratification. They would not even consider if their partner has enjoyed the intercourse. All that's in their mind is ejaculating!

BTW, I may be talking in terms of men here but the reverse is also true for women though in a different manner. When a woman gives in to making love to her husband after a terrible fight with him, is she really making love to him out of love or is it an offering of her body to appease or please him? or perhaps, by offering her body to him, she gets that satisfaction (albeit temporary) that she is still beautiful and desirable. Sounds ridiculous? Believe me... there are many women like that around.

In a relationship that has fundamental problems (or perhaps an extremely karmic one) in it, sex most certainly does not solve the problem. In fact, it may increase it. If you are obviously in a relationship that is not getting you anywhere, sex may complicate matters if it results in a pregnancy. I am not saying don't have sex with your spouse. Do not get me wrong. What I am saying is if you are thinking of using sex as a way to solve your marital problems, think again. It ain't gonna work. What works, is sitting down and talking about it and finding a resolution to your marital woes. The best solution is to set common goals and align to that common goal. Both may have differing views and methods as to how to achieve that goal but that's a small matter. The important thing would be to have that goal and work towards it. The process of getting to that goal would bring you both together again. However, if the differences are just to great to bridge, then parting ways would be the better option for the higher good of both parties and kids too. Now this may go against traditional eastern views but really who's to say whether the eastern view or western view is right. There is no right nor wrong as it truly depends on the circumstances unique to every couple. It is cruel to let your kids see you both argue/fight every single day. It is cruel to call your spouse profanities/names in front of your kids. What would you be teaching them?

Sex is like the peak satisfaction you get when you have not found love. Sex is just a fleeting moment. Once spent, its spent. It only provides temporary relief. In some circumstances, there are people who after getting bored of sex with one partner, change partners in the hope of re-igniting the excitement within themselves (not the partner). And it becomes a vicious cycle. For such people, you have mixed up happiness with pleasure. You will never find happiness this way, only temporary pleasure derived from sex. It is still empty after the initial excitement.

Someone once said that when we are in love, sex may not even be necessary. I know of a couple whom the wife lives in Malaysia whereas the husband lives in India. They've been living like this for the past 10 years. They are both spiritual people. She was a trainer in a personal development company. They did not have the need for sex. But every time they are together for that short few weeks every year, they are 100% with each other and give each other undivided attention. Sex wasn't necessary. When they revealed this to some of her trainees, they couldn't believe what they hear. However from the manner in which they revealed it, it was obvious to all present that they were not joking.

Love cannot be described with words. As Love is the ultimate force in the universe. It is the force of God. As beings of light created in His likeness, we are, by nature, wired to love. All other emotions originate from love. This includes fear, anger and hatred as Yoda put it to young Anakin in Star Wars.

For couples in love, just holding hands, or sitting in silence, or walking along the beach taking in the scenic view can be fulfilling. They may talk a lot or they may not talk much. But they do things together. If we care for the other person more than we care for ourselves, that is love. And that is the same love that Jesus in all his compassion had for us all when he sacrificed himself to raise humanity to the next level of consciousness.


From The Secret - the power germ within each word we use

"In every word you use, there is a power germ which expands and projects itself in the direction your word indicates, and ultimately develops into physical expression. For example, you wish the consciousness of joy. Repeat the word 'joy' secretly, persistently, and emphatically. The repetition of the word Îjoy' sets up a quality of vibration which causes the joy germ to begin to expand and project itself until your whole being is filled with joy. This is not a mere fancy, but a truth."
-GENEVIEVE BEHREND
(1881-1960)
Your Invisible Power